Thursday, December 27, 2012

Sisters LOVE

It has been a while since my last post and I am so sorry for that. I've been busy attending some personal problems. It is not new to you that I have  2 other girl siblings with gaps of 5 years each. And was not new as well that we live alone just by our mom , with out the help of our father. Not to brag but  I've been a bread winner eversince and have been a major financial contributor ( ofcourse with the help of our ever-supportive uncles- Ariel and Jojo) in the family. But aside from that, I've also been the shock-absorber . Things may come and go and passes through me -- of pain, failures, flaws.
It was just so lately that one of my sisters (the middle one) experienced a terrible heart-ache. Being the eldest, seeing them grown out to be a perfect lady-like person hurts me so much.  Well ,as they say , when you feel someone else's pain and joy as powerfully as if it were your own, you know that you love the person so dearly. So when that thing happened, I was so hurt that I cannot even move on. As if I am literally involved (guess that's how much I love my sisters).
Let me share with you what I have posted in facebook that made my friends cried as well.
"It really made my heart dropped to death seeing you in pain, God only knows how much I love you both. There were a few blazing hot little pains in me as I saw Japs in the same situation a few months or so... And now.. I froze as I watch you cry.. as if a flashback of our younger years lingered in my mind when something hard hit you so badly that almost left you out of breath.

I cried as I see those eyes... those are the SAME scared,confused-little eyes staring back at me 18 years ago, as if telling me to stop the person from hitting you. But what can I do? I'm just a kid like you.

I promised to myself that when we grow up , I won't let someone hurt you both.

And now that we're all grown ups, it shredded my heart more as I accept the reality that my promise will never come true.

In as much as I would like to be true to my words, I know I can't. I can no longer stop someone from hurting you both as we now have our own lives. It is with this pain that you'll learn to appreciate everything/every person that you currently have/with.. so the next time the same life/person passes by , you will strongly hold onto it/him knowing that your life will never be the same without it/him. And each time this happens , you come out of it a little stronger, it will always be your decision. You either cherish the moment or lock it in a box and at some point you will realize that there are more flavors of pain than coffee.

-we'll still end up having the four of us even when our world turns up side down. Joveth Dare, Joana Marie Magat Dare, Jonellyn Dare
Before and Now
 How about you? Do you share the same feelings with your siblings?

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